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Tuesday, July 19, 2011

alls well that is allowed to end well.

I had one of those restless nights that sees me waking up just not close enough to my alarm to warrant getting out of bed. I then find myself dozing and waking with a start to see I still have seven minutes to go and manage to nod off again. Then of course, the alarm sounds scaring the living daylights into me. I then get up feeling as if I have not slept at all.
This is the bit where the TV screen goes all wavy to indicate a past event. The past event is anytime I had been off school for a period and am trying to fight the sleep that will wake me into the next day. I used to get incredibly depressed around this time and on occasions would be brought to tears. I would make vain attempts to get that one more extra day off school convinced that I would feel better the next morning. However, I would be as transparent as a supermodels stomach and have to go to school. The thing is, I would return later that day and be back to my usual self. Spent the full day laughing with my friends, being easily distracted and switching off whenever anyone spoke to me consistently for about five minutes.
This back to school depression carried on into my working career. I can remember fighting sleep on the nights before I had to go back to work and would watch the World of Paramount until the early hours. Sure enough, just like school, I would drift back into the same normality I lived prior to the factory fortnight shutdown and come home as if I had never been off work at all.
So, what I have learned to do now is reflect not on how the next day will begin, but how it will end. Last nights panic was about, off all things, parking and having the right change to do so. As it happens, I got a lift. Alls well that is allowed to end well.

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