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Monday, July 25, 2011

the dreaded fear of rejection

Well that is the end of The Impossibly Big Sketch Show and what a fantastic time it was. I have made some great friends and finally found the trigger to pull these creative thoughts I have had firing round my head all these years out into the open. Over the last five days including today, I have performed three times in front of a paying audience, am about to have a film premiered at the Arc in Stockton-on-Tees alongside a film I am in!
A number of years ago I would hide behind anything rather than put my work out there. I had the dreaded fear of rejection. If my work is not out there then how can it be rejected? Elton John recently said (hang on, stick with me) no he didn’t say that bracketed bit, although he might have done, anyway moving on, he said that only when you complete a piece of work is it truly yours because one it has been released you no longer own it (or words to that effect!). This sums up my quandary. I like what I have written so want to share it with others, but what if they do not like it. How will that make me feel? Who cares? Me, I care. However, without the feedback I cannot develop and instead hide behind work that can be vastly improved. Therefore, one day I decided to go for it and sent of a story that was published. With these new release and self-confidence that I can make it as I writer, I submitted more short stories. Sure enough, they bombed. I got to the second round on one and ranked nowhere on the others. So what did I do? Retired back into my shell where I felt I belong.
Upon reflection, I can see that I did have legitimate reasons for not being able to give my work the time and attention it needs. With this in mind, I now plan and keep deadlines realistic. I consider the dedication and strike when the motivation is high. Even the greats had to start somewhere. This is my somewhere.

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